every now & again we all have those times where we really cannot explain how we feel or why we feel the way that we may be feeling at a certain time or FOR a certain amount of time. sometimes we don't think many people can relate.. at least thats how i feel because thats how its been like that all my life.
what i understand now more than ever is that what i see now so clearly is what i was seeing some time ago but wasn't equipped with the tools or knowledge to understand at the time that it was seen & sensed.. alotta times my mind is one of those things that work on too many remote channels --- at one time.. so basically, it can be all over the place. for those who know me, the last 3 years of my life have been nothing but issue after issue, problem after problem, hardship after hardship -- & it can take a toll on you if you're not strong enough. i get the statement "..i dunno how you've done it yo.. thru all of what YOU'VE been thru."
i guess the will power that i have to not be defeated.. i dunno. i honestly believe i knew what faith was before i knew the background & groundwork about faith in general.. i never sleep. hell, as i'm writing this, note that i haven't had the adequate amount of sleep that a normal human needs to function properly. haha.
i live my life one drum pattern at a time with a nicely chopped sample.. 8 bars. i've learned that if you take on more than what you know you can maintain, you're gonna lose.. & you'll get warnings that it may not be a good idea.. its up to you to make the choice to regroup or suffer down the road.
right now, i really wish i could get someone to flip the switch so i could get a break from all of what i deal with but i know thats not going to happen so i just pray that it all works out for the better because it WILL get better.. well - in alotta things, my life has gotten easier since December 31, 2008. alotta things became alot more evident, clear & of course, easier. i realize & recognize more than ever that everything isn't a cakewalk, but love is a powerful force. every step, word & feeling holds a value.
so being that i've been getting my ass kicked mentally, it just means i'm getting more tools to be stronger mentally & spiritually from Him, to be stronger for 'her' & to push into more directions of progression for myself.. so imma wipe the mud of my face from falling face first so many times in the last couple months, dust my Superman suit, kiss my future wife & try this sht again.. i've been doing this long & i'm still standing - why stop..
this is our universe."The Beach House Interlude"
*Ace
*Ace
