Reach.

i said i wasn't but i've got madd time on my hands & alotta unreleased material thats just been catching dust & i want the world to know (or at least the true, listening audience) to know of my music. this new tape is entitled "Without A Trace", meaning so much in such a little phrase.. meaning so much in my mind that can't be put into words. i'm known for disappearing on people without them knowing anything about my whereabouts.. thats just ONE note & version of the meaning to this tape. alotta people know me, have done business with me, have worked on music with me & the list goes on - but they know with anything i deliver without a trace of discomfort, disillusion or lack of respect. i make sure i deliver everytime, at any time. "Without A Trace: Beat Tape" - October 2010.

** i still have my photography/art project, "DigitalBerlin", in the works. its a project that i want to take my time with so that it means more than just photos & good music.. for all those who've been asking about it, its still on the way & i appreciate the support as well as the patience. **

*Ace

Lamborghini Dreams, Beach House Wishes.

*Ace

Lust for Life.

..i've got plans.

Man Fading.

lately i've been trying to figure out why exactly i still have this on my chest & what it really means when you feel so powerless.. how the people around you still don't see the bigger picture or understand how much work it really takes to be who i am. the more & more i've looked myself in the mirror these last few weeks, the more & more i see the colors fading. again, i can't give up but its like, i can give up on everyone else but myself, since i seem to be the only one who understands me & the world around us. i was once was told that "every superhero isn't equipped to handle every problem.." - they were right.

*Ace

Strength /// Recovery Day 15

i've been in recovery from my knee surgery i had 2 weeks ago & its been a task. i'm not use to having to wait to do certain things & certainly not use to being confined one area for hours at a time. i've had to put my pride to the side & allow others to help me out. i'm not stubborn but i've also been taught to do things for myself. i can honestly say i'm missing VA Beach right now, with everything thats going on & this whole knee thing, but i think if i were back in VA Beach right now, all banged up, i think it would torment me more knowing that i'd be in my known element & can't have any fun in it. i was told the other night that i possibly haven't gotten what i need to learn or gain from being out here in Dallas from my homeboy & after thinking about it for a few days, he's right. i've never been known to back down or give up on anything that i know i can overcome so its like, why start now? i've been through worse, down to actually being homeless - i should be able to handle a few mouths, slanted eyes, a couple screws in my kneecap & restless nights when sleep is important.

i've had plans set to be in Cali & now with a second option of Chicago. i miss VA but i don't think imma learn & get further in where i need & want to be if i go back home anytime too soon.. i believe there's a silver lining somewhere in all of this thats happened, going on & WILL be happening in the near future, so once again, i've exhibit some kinda patience. i know i can't take over the world right now & thats fine. thats been my plan since day one.. but for right now, as its been for the 18-20months, its all in planning, patience & persistence; having faith in knowing i've got the strength to handle all of whats going on. i found out not too long ago that even though alotta people don't know my story, alotta people look up to me & see me as inspiration & motivation. i gotta keep going for those who watch me to let them know that overcoming is possible.

*Ace

Steps.

last week was one of those weeks were you question everything up to the point that changes your views on things. the knee injury that i had last year - well, i reinjured it last week & damaged my other knee in the process of trying to save the weak one. i had to have surgery on it, which was the first time i had ever had surgery done to my body. i try not to recognize fear in any state, only to understand reality & the reality of it was, it needed to be done.

i now have screws in my kneecap holding it together, being that it broke in half upon impact because the tendon that allows a human to bend their knee, snapped/popped/broke.. so just imagine walking (or in this case, doing something once again, for someone else) & your knee gives, you feel a pop & you collapse.. shit is just painful thinking about it.

i spent about 4 days in the hospital & watched the world literally change on me, right before my eyes. i watched people change & reposition themselves in a corner that they left me standing in by myself, when they were the ones who invited me to stand in WITH them. i laid & thought about alot, as i always do on the go but there's something different when you have nothing BUT time - in THIS sense, i can barely walk & will be like this for the next couple months. i've come to terms with a few things & plan to progress forward with knowing with these new knowings, in the efforts of trying to understand & overcome them. personally, i believe i now have to watch my back a little more than i already & always was before because the walls have gotten a little thinner & they've moved a little closer in on me. pressure. i don't know what i'm gonna do but then again, i DO know what imma do, but i have to take each day at a time. for this injury happening to me must be a blessing in disguise, as some think, but all my life i've been TOLD that & its just another setback, times 10. i'm determined to make sure that this works FOR me & not against me "but my team is outta place", as Nickelus F would say. we'll see though.

*Ace